My column in this week's newspaper
If you’re reading this column then you are one of the unfortunate and sulking county residents who is stuck at home while it seems all your friends, neighbors, co-workers, complete strangers, and people you don’t even like are at some exotic location for Spring Break. And yes, if you have to work the entire week in town, then even Mobile, Alabama sounds exotic. The line for the Stuck-Here-in-Spring-Hill support group forms at the rear.
Oh sure, tell yourself that a shopping spree at Lowe’s and a week’s work of back-breaking landscaping is more relaxing than reclining with a mindless novel by a Destin pool. The truth is you’d settle for sitting in a metal chair by a bucket of water if it could just be anywhere in Florida.
While you’re singing the Numb in Nolensville Blues, every family on your son’s travel soccer team is traveling where there is no Gatorade served at concession stands—only those drinks with the tiny umbrellas at the tiki bar. Oh sure, tell yourself that you’re glad you’re not fighting the crowds at Myrtle or Maui, or fighting the crazies in Lauderdale. Why stand in line for overpriced fresh grilled mahi mahi when you’ve got coupons and there’s no wait at Captain D’s?
It might be helpful to actually remind yourself that some people drive hundreds of miles to come HERE for spring break. I know; I couldn’t believe it either. But there are entire regions of our country that could be featured in those Southwest commercials that ask, “Wanna get away?” Places where the Saturday night highlight is a trip to Walmart and a promised stop at Dairy Queen if the kids are good and don’t have a meltdown in the toy aisle…like last Saturday night.
I know, I know, you are sick of reading those Facebook posts of people you’ve never actually met that feature a photo collage of their family horseback riding in Lake Tahoe. And you deleted the comment you really wanted to leave on Melissa’s twenty-seventh post about her cruise. Something about wishing she would stay down indefinitely during her next coral reef dive. A co-worker who sends out Twitter Tweets every hour from Laguna Nigel stands a good chance of finding all his office supplies super-glued to his desk when he returns.
The way to rid yourself of the Floundering in Franklin Funk and to release the discontentment and resentment of being held hostage in Thompson Station is to make the most of the captivity.
Pretend this is your last week in middle Tennessee before an unexpected move relocates you out of state. What is a place in our area you have been intending to visit or have been wanting to experience but have never gotten around to it? It’s sad, but after nine years in West Palm Beach I waited until the week we were moving to sit on the beach to watch a sunrise. Speaking of sunrise, having grown up in Winston-Salem, NC my entire life it was not until shortly before we moved that I attended the magnificent sunrise service at God’s Acre in Old Salem, a historic site that hasn’t skipped an Easter sunrise since 1772.
What historic place have you been planning to visit? What music venue has been on your list for years? What local color restaurant has eluded you season after season, excuse after excuse? What area of natural beauty like Radnor Lake, Cheekwood, or the Natchez Trace have you skipped because…well, it’s always going to be there? There are many ways to enjoy your spring staycation; you just won’t have a sunburn and huge MasterCard bill on Monday to show for it.
--rLp--
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